A poem: Putbackable

Here’s a poem I wrote about being nice. Don’t get me wrong being a decent person is great, being kind, altruistic and loving are attributes I always aim to met. However allowing your self-worth to be crushed by constantly trying to please everyone else can be extremely demeaning, this something I’ve found to be particularly true in the last few years. So love yourself, as cheesy as it sounds, if you can master that everything else will follow!

Nice. Just nice.

Like a car going the right speed

A senseless demand that you heed

All the stories your parents tell you

The adventures you’ll never do

Being nice is being stackable, putbackable.

Not able

To say no – even though this

Is your own fate 

You’re running late

Making the madding crowds irate 

Because nothing is up to you

You put up, there’s nothing else you can do

Because you are putbackable

Stackable, 

You see others see you as reliable

The certainty of your smile 

On early morning car-miles

Keeps them going 

So you keep your nice showing

But it’s time to show up for you

Because unpredictability is true too

Saying no and staying in with messy hair dos

Jumping on a bus, just because

So talk shit about brexit 

and think you’re it in your new outfit

Because you’re mighty

Boiling over with quick-wit 

Here’s to being able, 

Stable in your two shoes

Proud of dirt under your nails

Blazing an upwards trail

Away from the fairytale of nice

To throwing your own dice

Here’s to dismissing the fables

Able, to turn on your own tables.

 

I’m pretty new to writing poetry so please comment/ criticise it really helps me or introduce me to your own poetry I’d love to read it!

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6 thoughts on “A poem: Putbackable

  1. You have some great lines in this poem. It reads fluidly and the topic is excellent and necessary.

    You might try liberating yourself from rhyme, just as an experiment, unless you’re a slammer or singer. Otherwise it’s possible to let the effort to rhyme drive the poem rather than the poem’s, or poet’s own natural rhythm.

    Just for fun read some of the early 20th Century (and on through today) who relinquished rhyme for rhythm and imagery, using rhyme sparingly, like salt. Writers like HD, TS Eliot, Philip Larkin, Sylvia Plath, Pablo Neruda, Nicanor Parra, Juan Felipe Herrera. Or even earlier, from mid 19th century, the great Walt Whitman.

    The only reason I offered this personal opinion is because you requested feedback. Otherwise, I really like the originality with which you address a condition that’s not inherently interesting, being nice.

    Best wishes,

    Donna

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Donna thank you so much for your thorough feedback, it’s been wonderful to hear your thoughts. It’s really interesting what you’ve said about rhyme I write slam poetry that I only perform to myself at the moment, I definitely going to experiment with imagery and rhythm more! I’ve heard great things about the poets you mentioned and I loved Plath and TS Eliot. I think I’ll pick up Larkin and Walt Whitman next. Best, Fifi 🙂

      Like

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